Let’s talk about Reaching Out
In all honesty, how often do you feel down and out but you don’t call your family or friends because you don’t want to burden them with your troubled mind?
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.
Please share with me which one you do…
When we are in a bad state of mind we generally do one of these two things, or even both:
1. We push people away because we don’t want to disappoint them/be a burden.
2. We take our negative emotions out on them.
Neither of these options are a healthy route, agreed? Well Believe me, I know from personal experience. I tend to go the isolation route. I will go MIA – totally off the grid – just so I can be in my own thoughts. I convince myself everyone has their own issues and they shouldn’t have to be bothered by mine. *eyeroll* But while being in a negative state of mind, common sense is, we should not stay within our own thoughts (at least not for too long) because that leads to over analyzing, and self destruction.
How often do you criticize yourself, convince yourself you’re not doing enough?
Do you also tell yourself it’s all your fault?
Even things that are totally out of your control, you blame yourself.
Are you one of those people who can be mentally self destructive?
I know I am.
Now, looking from the outside in – reading this aloud, doesn’t that sound kind of ridiculous?
Of course it does – we know better than this!
So… remember those people who stood by your side when you ugly cried – whether it was a tragic situation or something that now seems silly. The people who sat in silence with you because their company was more meaningful than any words that could possibly be said.
Reach out to them! They love you, they care!
It took me about uhm… A good month or so of criticizing my every move, convincing myself I wasn’t doing enough, yelling at myself for caring “too much”, retracing every little situation in my mind to see what I could have done differently.
An entire month of self abuse.
I think you know what i’m talking about… we do this over things we’re passionate about.
When I find myself going through a mentally challenging time – this is my flawed pattern.
So here are 7 convo starters to reach out:
❤ If your loved ones are distanced and you’ve never opened up to a newer friend:
“I’m going through a tough time and I feel like you’re someone I can trust.
Are you free to talk or meet (day/time)?”
❤ When you feel trapped in your own mind and a bit helpless:
“I’m struggling with my mental health and what I’ve been trying isn’t working.
Can we please (meet up/zoom/chat) on (date) and come up with a better plan?”
❤ When you can’t be alone:
“I don’t feel safe by myself right now.
Can you stay on the phone with me or come over until I calm down?”
❤ When you don’t want to talk about it:
“I’m in a bad place mentally but I’m not ready to talk about it.
Can you help me distract myself?”
❤ When you need to feel some connection:
“I’ve been isolating myself a little lately.
Can you check in with me every so often just to make sure I’m alright?”
❤ When you feel self-loathing:
“I’ve been feeling so low.
Can you share a favorite memory of us/remind me what I mean to you?
It would really help me right now.”
❤ When you sense someone else hasn’t been themselves lately:
“I’m in a funk right now, how are you doing?
Do you want to be self-care buddies?
We can text each other once a day, something that we did to care for ourselves?
We know ourselves best, yet we all have to continue to learn more of what works for us and how to take care of our mental health. I know it’s hard to start a conversation while being in this state of mind. We are strong enough to seize the awkwardness and reach out when we feel in our hearts it’s best for our well being.
Please share with others and let me know what you think about these conversation starters!
And always remember to check in with people.
We are brave and strong.
Seize the awkward, and reach out when you need.
It’s okay to ask for love.