before you unleash…

I’m sitting in my quiet home, candles lit, essential oil diffuser on, Pink Whitney on the rocks in a stemless wine glass. I have not checked my phone in hours but I can guarantee there’s a couple of text threads from easily predictable people complaining about yet another list of things that went about during their day, a couple random snaps and my boyfriend checking in on me.
NORMALLY, I would happily respond to the people I love whom always tend to highlight what annoys them…

However, [I work a full time job, 12 hour days in the health field, have a lot of internal stresses lately] I’m mentally struggling.
Mentally struggling with so much to where it’s better off I just keep things to myself because I have no energy, zero desire to explain myself to others.

Yet here I am, I’m still the first person people call when they need a ‘pick me up’.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a “go-to” person.
BUT I am mentally struggling.
I will still listen to others.
I will still make their day.
Yeah, It will take every ounce of my being to smile all day long.

How can I be this strength and light to others, when I’m failing to do so for myself?

Truthfully, I don’t want to look at all these texts that I have not answered for days.
My mind cannot currently handle the irrelevant Stories about late night booty calls, tiny things that happen in one’s day that sparks the most overly dramatic stories and the “omg i just can’t even deal” at the end.
The texts and voicemails don’t stop – I’m still the one to go to – even if I don’t answer.

Not one “are you okay?” because to everyone I’m the one whom always finds a productive solution to every issue, I give sound, logical, advice… positively… but I’m failing myself.

SO Please consider,

coming from someone who loves and cares about every single human,
someone who will do anything for anyone…

1. Before you go on a b*tching rant/unleash all of the baggage off your shoulders to your “go-to” person ask them first  if they have the mental space to listen.
2. Ask your “happy-go-lucky” friend how they’re doing, before you unleash.

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